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How To Get Kids To Stop Swearing

Last month a reader asked if I'd be willing to write about kids swearing. I must admit the request took me off guard initially, but I think it's a great topic to consider from a thinking angle. Hitting the OFF button is one thing. Getting your kids to appreciate how destructive non-stop swearing is-to the power of language, to communication, and to personal and work relationships-is another thing all together.

My advice is to keep this conversation going for awhile.

Stopping the Habit

In many respects, nixing the swearing at home is one of the easier tasks. You can do this by 1) never swearing around your kids and 2) providing some disincentive to your child. "Fining" kids coins or treats on the spot works best. Don't let it escalate into a big Remortgage deals thing at the end of the day. In fact, fine yourself too when you slip up. It helps your kids see swearing as a bad habit that's hard for anyone to break.

The Swearing Culture

You've heard the story: the more you hang around people who swear, the more you swear yourself. Let your kids know that people sometimes get into the habit of swearing because everybody at their school or job swears. However, that doesn't mean that it's acceptable or the norm. Explain how embarrassing it is to show up somewhere, drop a few choice expletives and hear the sound of a pin dropping.

What Real Language Is For

Real language is for communication. The English language includes about 180,000 words in current usage (in addition to about 45,000 obsolete words), about quarter of which are adjectives. That leaves 45,000 adjectives in current use. When you feel like swearing yourself, reach for a crazy adjective. Don't stop at "notably awful." Put some gusto into it. Challenge the kids to do the same. Notice what a boring alternative swearing is?

Privacy, What Privacy?

This is what I call the Facebook argument and it's one to use with teens. Many teens know that employers and college admissions officers check out applicants' Facebook, MySpace, or Xanga pages to get an unvarnished look at them. What would happen if these folks eavesdropped on your teen's conversations? (If they're on YouTube, they may be doing it already). Yup, swearing is right up there-along with nastiness and bad judgment-as a way to get yourself dumped from the short list.

Sticks and Stones

Probably the biggest lesson of all. Words do matter-they do hurt and they can kill-trust, self-esteem, relationships. Let your kids know that calling someone a curse word is not only offensive, it hurts them too.

Jessica Pegis is an author and consultant specializing in learning resources kids. She is the mother of Simone, her sternest critic and loudest cheerleader. Sign up today for KidSmart, her FREE e-zine, by going to talkplaythinktalkplaythink Tips, games, and other fun (and brainy) stuff to do with kids.

posted by biibj @ 7:53 AM