Do You Have Issues
BEGINNING OF STORY
Ok, here's my story. private student loan consolidation grab my laptop Offkey wanted to wash my car (yes, I know it is way effects of marijuana cold) and when I tried to put gas in, it was so cold my credit card froze in the slot and I could barely get it out. After a few times of that nonsense, I gave up. Heck I don't care if my car is dirty and I look like a skuzbag! Everybody who goes to those kinds of bookstores is weird, so I would fit right in!
So I go through the drive through at the bank and got $20. All excited about going to Barnes and Noble and getting a pretzel. I see Scooters along the way, hmmmm then Crane coffee, hmmmmm, but go on to Barnes and Noble because their little coffee shop is just plain cool! I haul my book bag, laptop, and purse in and they tell me they covered up all their plug-ins because they had "issues" with them. ISSUES? What kind of issues can you have with electrical plug-ins? I mean, I have a lot of issues but never have had any with plug-ins! I should have asked! Ok, so I haul everything out in the cold and think, I'll go to Crane Coffee. It's always cozy and they have a little fireplace. I get in there and it is full and all the "plug-ins" that Barnes and Noble has issues with, are taken with other people with their laptops.
So I turn around and decide to go to Panera and be (don't tell Weight Watchers) naughty and eat a bagel with cream cheese. Ah yes, they have PLUG INS and they don't have ANY ISSUES with them. So I get my bagel, cream cheese and heck why not...butter too. Get everything set up, it plugged into those plug-ins like Barnes and Noble have issues with and I am ready to write! WOW! Heaven! Then I remember it is my husband's old computer and I am not for sure his password. I think it is Champs something or other. I spend ONE HOUR making up passwords trying to get in, calling my hubby's cell off and on and keep getting booted out because I have tried too many passwords and they need to protect the person registered with that computer. They don't understand when I tell them I am his wife and it is NOW my computer, but his password is still on it. FRUSTRATIONS! I JUST WANTED TO LAY MY HEAD DOWN ON THE TABLE AND CRY OR MAYBE SLEEP!
Here I go HOME I GO TO BE LONESOME AND DEPRESSED! Hubby's on the road all week!
I WISH I HAD FRIENDS, NO I DON'T. YES I DO. NO I DON'T. YES I DO!
FRIENDS HAVE ISSUES TOO, BUT USUALLY NOT WITH ELECTRICAL
PLUG-INS!
I NEVER KNEW PLUG-INS HAD ISSUES
WHAT ARE YOUR ISSUES?
Issues with plug-ins
never heard of such a thing.
Why I have issues galore
but never yet with a dang
plug-in for goodness sake,
what kind of people do?
Most of us have bigger issues
than ones with those things too!
Thought I'd get some gas
into my dirty car
so I could get a carwash
that's how it worked thus far.
But when I put the card in
it froze and stayed fixed.
I finally pulled it out
but over and over I was nixed.
So forget about the car wash
I was heading for the place
where lots of weird people hang out
so who cares if the car is blas?!
I had on my baggy jamma pants
with lots of bags galore,
I Biggerbetter wait to get there
and have a pretzel and more.
I ask the girl behind the counter
where are the plug-ins for me?
She said, "oh we're so sorry"
we have issues don't you see?"
Issues with the plug-ins?
Never heard of such a thing.
So I said, "well I can't stay here,"
so I ran out and dang,
I went to Crane coffee
oh yeh, that should be great.
I'll leave my bags inside the car
before I see how it rates.
Oh no, where did all
those laptops come from?
Every single plug-in
was in use and some...
so out the door I went.
Oh yeh, Panera's where I'll go.
They won't have issues there
with their plug-ins I just know.
Yeah, heaven on earth
I'm even going to be
a bad girl and have
a bagel and cream cheese!
So I order what I want and
get my laptop all set up.
The plug-ins seem to work
no issues here, what luck!
Now we're cookin' and
everything is almost done.
I commence to put the password in
to make my laptop run.
Over and over
time and time again.
I put that stupid password in
and nothing happened, so then
I called that man of mine up
to ask him what was what.
He never answered that ole' phone
It made me want to jump
up and down and say bad words,
so frustrated was I then;
that stupid laptop booted
me out upon my rear!
I guess it knew I wasn't
the person with the password,
even when I tried to explain
it now was mine and that's my last word.
So I wanted to so badly
lay my head down and cry,
but I spent one full hour,
then I just didn't try.
So the next time I am sad,
and lonely to boot,
remind me that there's issues
with plug-ins at the root
of the problems with the bookstore
where weird people go and hang,
with their baggy pants and laptops
I just feel like I will never be the same!
frustrations by peg'08
creations by peg
Peg Salmon
Why We Can't Get Enough American Idol
Now were well into the final 12. American Idol 2006 is in full swing, and as Randy Jackson says, we got conference call services hot one, dog.
As my wife and I sit down to watch it each night, we cant help but be drawn in. Even my kids, who are 3 and 4 love what they call the singing show. Among all bad credit remortgage this interest, I am baffled as to why?
Every year, its the same format, same motley crue of judges, same Ryan Seacrest. And the banter between Seacrest and Simon Cowell is predictable; we see it coming a mile away. Paula Abdul is always the soft one, commenting on the sexiness of guys like Ace Young, making us wonder who was really telling the truth her or Cory Clark. Randy Jackson offers his it was aaaiight, or it was pitchy in a few parts. Or he shouts out to the dog pound, requesting their guffales, chortels, and choodles. I am really not sure what Jackson is saying next year I want a Jackson language decoder key. And Cowell, well, hes always honest, sometime brutal, and uses the word appalling way too often.
I still ask myself why am I and most every pocket of American demographics tuned into the Care Bears that takes singers with guts, ambition, a bit of talent, and some stage presence and turns them into International Pop Icons?
Well, Ive thought long and hard about this. And I think it comes down to one thing. Transference: we all see a little of ourselves or the person we wanted to or thought we could have or might have liked to become in one contestant or another. And it gives us the one chance to share in their dreams to be the next American Idol the next pop icon.
Look at in on several levels.
First diversity, Theres an Idol with whom all of us can relate. We have Ace Young, the young, probably too good looking to be taken seriously as a talented singer, probably better as an actor 25 year old. He must draw the younger and middle aged women. My wife even said, hes good looking. Not able to offer a contradicting viewpoint because I would, of course, be wrong, all I can say is you know what, youre right.
Next lets look at Mandisa. Yeah, shes large but the girl can sing. Reminiscent of Aretha Franklin, she has a beautiful smile. We cant help but be drawn to her.
And Bucky Covington. Hes got that raspy, kinda of southern, kinda Texas swagger. There are no other blonde long haired guys who wear cowboy hats, so yes, he is representing some demographic.
Katharine McPhee has a beautiful voice and smile and is Don't spend summer alone! poised; her talent is obvious. The theater geeks adore her.
Paris Bennett has so many looks that I question if its really the same person. She can really put on a show. I really used to think she was cute, but now I think shes spunky and excited to try to win this thing.
Taylor Hickss dance moves are well, I am not sure what they are. Hes like Joe Cocker or Bob Seger on too much caffeine or something. Hes kind of an anomaly, but is very likeable and has an appeal.
Elliot Yamin is so close to his mom. The guy wears an insulin pump to battle diabetes on a daily basis. Im not really a fan, but my heart bleeds for him; I cant help but respect his dexterity regardless of how he sings. How about Kellie Pickler? What did Simon call her, a naughty little minx? And she replied, asking what that was. Cmon, guys 16-40 would like to explain to her in detail. That cute, ditzy, little blonde thing has the younger dads paying attention. Oh, whats that you ask, Can she sing?? Really, does it even matter?
Weve got rockers, represented originally by Chris Daughtry. Sure, Simon wasnt crazy about Chris performance this week. But the guy is intense, and he pulls off the bald thing really well. Hes not entirely classy, but hes classic and he rocks.
Idol offers validation and relevance for all of us. The show hosts pop music icons every week. Last year, we had Elton John. Last week, a modern sensation, Shakira and Wyclef Jean. Earlier this year we started off with Stevie Wonder, then to Barry Manilow. Love or hate either of them, they really are legends and truly influenced R&B, pop, soul, and now provide the samples and hooks that keep us jamming on our iPods today. Hearing their songs takes us back to the times when we first heard them the 70s, 80s, and 90s. They create the nostalgia of days and times gone by and transfer us back to the excitement of another era.
American Idol enables us to transfer ourselves to the contestants experience. We can live their joy of being on top of the world when they hear the you are not in the bottom three. Unfortunately, we share in their disappointment when Seacrest says this is the end of the road for you.
We relate to them, their accents, race, style, smile, personality, and talent. For a moment in each song, we transfer ourselves to being onstage with them, sharing in that spotlight. And for a few seconds, through that transference, we are the American Idol, the next Pop Icon. All fears stress, and pain of daily life are gone, and all is right in our world.
That, my friends, is the secret behind the success of American Idol. It provides us each a chance to escape our daily lives, and transform into a star. The American psyche cant resist the chance to be a star, an American Icon, if even only for a moment.
At the end of a long day, theres nothing wrong with that.
Copyright 2006 Anthony Palladino
Anthony Palladino is a cofounder of Icon Tees, a New Jersey firm that has developed an original line of tee shirts featuring popular icons like Notorious B.I.G., Arnold Schwarzenegger, Madonna, Muhammad Ali, Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra, Tupac Shakur, Prince, Run DMC and many more. Check out icontees.comicontees.com
